Reviewing Movies

Two versions:

Andrew Garfield is the second actor to don muscle enhancing spandex in the current Spiderman franchise and his tenure is rumoured to be capped at two outings. Half way through this 140 minute marathon Peter Parker has spent most of his time stalking Gwen. Finally they attain lip lock in an Oscorp service closet. To my way of thinking there is nothing wrong with either actor who has played Spidey a good script wouldn’t have fixed. Sally Field as the Weepy Widow is rather insufferable. That this superhero goes home to mummy/aunty to get his dirty underwear washed is rather laughable and sad.

This flick takes ages to get anywhere and the audience may die of boredom waiting for it to do it. Definitely not for the vertigo challenged. There is cartoonish violence and people do die here. One may believe the gangly Garfield as a spider but spider venom gives that little twerp unbelievable strength. One is given too much time to ponder these conundrums.

Some movies seem way too long. Had I paid $15 to watch The Amazing Spiderman Two live I’d have probably toughed it out, otherwise I’d have walked out after 15 minutes. Takes way to long for anything to happen in this 140-minute marathon. Radio-active blood or not this gangling spider has only 4 limbs and only enough brains to control one of them. Someone should stomp on him and put him out of his misery. Too much angst and not enough action here. Spidey spends nearly an hour stalking Gwen as only a spider could from vertigo-inducing heights. The movie can’t decide if it’s an unrequited love story, a tragedy, or an action movie. The final action sequence is truncated lest the audience die of boredom.